Cut to the Kovac house as Abby enters. Luka is on the floor in front of the couch with Joe in his lap. They are playing with a wooden airplane. She goes down the steps and hangs her coat up as she watches them. She sits on the couch next to him and looks around. She asks about Niko and Luka says he has gone out to buy a present for his wife. Luka is absorbed in playing with Joe, asking where Joe is going to go on the plane and Abby leans forward resting her chin in her hand as she watches. (I have to comment that this baby has amazing dexterity in putting a wooden ‘passenger’ piece in a small round hole on the plane correctly) Luka continues to croon about going to fly to Joe and Abby studies him, close to tears. She leans forward and presses several kisses to the back of his neck. He turns his head a bit to look at her as she slides to the floor next to them and entwines her arm through his. She drags her fingernails through the hair on his arm for a moment as he watches her. She takes a deep breath and says finally, “Luka…..I need help.” He continues to watch her as she runs her fingers through Joe’s hair and then raises her hand to Luka’s jaw. He lifts his hand to her’s and his fingers grasp her palm.
Cut to Abby’profile as she stands at the window looking out at a rainy night. Luka approaches and circles her to stand next to her. She tells him she started drinking again. He turns to look at her profile and asks when. She tells him it was the night Joe got hurt ….and she can’t stop. He looks sick to his stomach as he leans against the window frame and tells her that he thought they needed to get used to being married again but when things didn’t get better he thought….. He takes a breath and asks what they need to do. He looks at her as she says she needs to fix it. She needs to go to a facility where there are professionals….to get better. She needs to believe it this time. She looks at him and tells him he needs to believe it too. She needs him to help her. Sooo….she wants him to take Joe and go to Croatia…for his father….while she does…that. Luka is stunned. She wants them to go without her? She’s his mother. Abby insists that she knows that…but she hasn’t been a very good one, and she doesn’t think she can be until she deals with this. He asks if they can’t do it together. She tells him this is how they do it together. He has to help her do it alone. Luka gazes at her grimly and then asks if that is all. She looks at him with a very pained expression and asks what he means. He asks if there is something else she needs to tell him. Abby sits down on the bench . She says that she got out of control…just out of control and did some things. Luka looks out the window, swallows and then asks her what kind of things. She stares at the floor and says things that she is ashamed of. He prods her to tell him everything but she shakes her head. He turns and says that after all this she doesn’t want to tell him. She continues to stare at the floor as she shakes her head and tells him not tonight. He sits on the bench next to her and buries his face in his hands. He groans a bit as she wipes the tears from her face. He shakes his head slightly and says that it’s his fault. She tells him immediately not to do that. His resolve crumbles as he says he should have come home earlier. He should have been there. He broke his promise. She insists she should have been able to handle it. She screwed up. That it’s her fault. She apologizes as he begins to weep. (Amazing agonizing scene considering it was shot mostly to Maura Tierney’s profile.)
Abby: I started drinking again.
Luka: When?
Abby: The night Joe got hurt. And I (long pause) can't stop.
Luka: I thought when I came back, we just had to get used to being married again. But then things didn’t get better and I thought... (long pause) So what do we do?
Abby: I need to fix it. I need to go somewhere, a facility, with professionals, and get better. And I need to believe it this time, and I need you to believe it. (long pause) And I need you to help me. (another long pause) So... so, take Joe... go to Croatia, for your father, while I do that.
Luka: (incredulous)You want us to go without you?
Abby: Yeah, I just...
Luka: But you’re his mother!
Abby: I know that! I know that! (pause) But I haven’t been a very good one. And I honestly don’t think I can be until I deal with this.
Luka: Can’t we do this together?
Abby: This is how we do it together! You have to help me do it... alone.
(long pause)
Luka: That’s it? (pause) Is there anything else...
Abby: (looks at him for a long moment) What do you mean?
Luka: ...that you want to tell me?
Abby: (turns away) I know... I just... I was out of control, I got... out of control... and I... I did some things.
Luka: What kind of things?
Abby: Things I’m ashamed of.
Luka: Okay, just tell me everything.
Abby: (slowly shaking her head) Luka...
Luka: After all this, after everything you don’t want to tell me?
Abby: Not tonight.
(long, long pause; Luka sits next to her, breathes out audibly with pain in his voice, his face in his hands; he looks up, and there is another long, long pause)
Luka: It’s my fault, isn’t it?
Abby: No, don't. (both of them begin to cry) Please don’t...
Luka: I should have come home earlier, I shouldn’t have left you...
Abby: No! I should have been able to handle this!
Luka: I broke my promise!
Abby: Don’t do that, okay?! Don’t! I screwed up! I screwed up because I couldn't keep it together!
Luka: (at the same time) I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so...
Abby: This is my fault! It's my fault, it’s me! And please, don’t, don't. Just don’t... (Abby places her hand on his back, and pauses for a long, long moment) I’m sorry.
(they sit quietly together, in so much pain)
Cut to the trauma room as Sam and Gates exit. She thanks him for coming to her aid earlier. She tells him that she doesn’t care what people says, he is a half decent guy. Morris approaches asks sharply if that is a new patient. Sam says no and Morris turns quickly. He approaches the desk and Frank gleefully announces that with 15 minutes to go the patient count is 23. Lily says they need another two nurses. Food poisoning at the Christmas potluck. They turn to the admit window just in time to see a group of retching Shriner’s and one spewing vomit on the window. Morris is gleeful as he shouts ‘Hallelujah!.’
Cut to Melissa’s room where Pratt is removing the tube from her throat. As she coughs, Lowell say ‘hi, mommy’, softly. Melissa looks at him and smiles. Lowell tells her that he loves her and she tells him she loves him too. She turns her head to Pierce and says that she couldn’t forget him. She didn’t know how to tell him. He tells her not to worry about anything. Lowell is their son and he will take care of him.
Cut to Julia pouring water from a saline bag into a surgical bowl.
Cut to Frank crowing from the admit desk. The count is 299 patients, triage is empty and they will be $100 richer in 10…9…8… his hand is flat on the desk over the money. Morris is pacing and then stops. He picks up a heavy book and slams it on Frank’s hand. Frank is wordless with pain as Morris orders Lily to make a chart for Frank. Gates frowns and tells Morris he has a serious gambling problem. Morris orders a 3 view, ice pack and ibuprofen as he dances and counts the money in his hand. Lily approaches to say that Julia is ready and they have moved to trauma 2.
The ending montage is shot with Julia’s words over it. Cut to the trauma room where available staff are gathered with candles. She tells them that water is the source of all life. It is used in healing rituals all over the world in almost every faith. (Cut to Abby pouring her vodka from the bottle and travel bottles down the drain in her bathroom.) Water is an element of cleansing and purification. Today they use saline. It’s what they work with. After all, water doesn’t get much cleaner than that. Earlier we talked about what our patients do for us. (Cut to Melissa’s room where Perce and Lowell are holding her hands as she begins to fade. Morris looks o with a slight smile.) Now we will honor what we do for them. Paying thanks for our abilities, hoping that we will continue to use them to serve our community. Let’s dip our hands in the water. (Gates steps forward to dip his hands in the bowl.) May we all have the strength, the dexterity and the sensitivity to carry out the mission of healing in the community…and may our hands be blessed. (Neela moves forward to wash her hands in the water.)
Cut to the street with the L train moving past. Luka lifts a bag into the back of the car and closes the hatch. He takes Joe from Abby and smiles at him a little as he jostles him in his arms.
Cut to Julia in trauma 2 again. Morris dips his hands in the bowl and takes a towel.
Cut to the street again as Luka tips Joe down so Abby can kiss him again. She pats the baby’s jacket reluctantly and then climbs into the car. She closes the door and we can see Abby’s profile through the rain drenched window. She presses the palm of her hand on the window and we see Luka’s hand press against hers. She starts the car and we see Luka’s grim profile – and Joe in his arms - as she pulls the car into the street and drives away.
Cut to Melissa’s room as Pratt nods at Pierce who is still holding Melissa’s hands with Lowell. We hear Julia continue. “We have our dead and we have to let them go. Now let’s turn our attention back to the work of the living.” Cut to Abby driving her car in night traffic with the lights of the city of Chicago behind her. The camera pans up and then fades